Pillow talk
by ShadowDianne
Summary: Based on a prompt of hermajestyreginamills via tumblr but slightly tweaked and using a prewritten prompt regarding Emma and Regina sharing a bed. "If you feel so inclined I will put a pillow wall between us, miss Swan." Regina deadpanned, feeling, more than seeing, the sudden stiffness on Emma's pose around her like an aura. "Don't…" "Call you that, I know, I know."


Pillow talk

"So… this is it." Regina said while entering in the bedroom, pointing at the already made bed. "Would you need anything else?"

Emma stood behind her with a spare sheet carefully tucked between her arms, a look of utter loss on her eyes that disappeared as quickly as she realized the mayor was looking at her now, posture stiff but eyes gleaming nonetheless. Shaking her head, the savior approached the bed's edge and sat, looking at Regina while smiling briefly, the murmur of a "thank you" reaching Regina's ears as she did so.

Sighing, Regina turned to look at the open door of the bedroom in where Henry's shadow could be seen for a fraction of second before he moved away, the sound of his steps reaching both women as they stared at the door; Regina playing absentmindedly with her pendant, Emma tugging the loose strands of the sheet's edge.

"He isn't happy." Emma finally spoke, a look of utter sadness crossing her expression once again, this time too strong for her to hid it when Regina looked at her. "The wedding…"

"It was your decision to call it off." Regina replied quickly, softly. "I'm sure Henry doesn't blame you for that."

Emma let out a mirthless laugh, one that didn't reach her eyes and made her shoulders shag as she shook her head, hands fidgeting as she did. "And what about my parents? What about… The town was expecting a wedding."

Regina stared at the woman for a few seconds, thinking back on the moment Emma had looked at Hook, about to say her vows and suddenly taking a step back, face pale and lips trembling as she had said that she couldn't continue with it, with the wedding, with him. Screams had been heard, insults even as the man lashed out on her, Snow and Charming both shielding their daughter from the cutting words of the man that stomped out the place after Regina herself had used her magic to let him know he wasn't well-received anymore.

This Emma, however, didn't seem able to see anything but the words Hook had screamed at her and for it the former queen approached her, standing before her and her sad, expressionless eyes.

"I'm sure everyone understood why you didn't do it." She said softly, too softly, as she moved her right hand towards Emma's knee, stopping herself a millimeter away from her, not sure if she would be allowed to do such a thing, not after the hundreds of times she had seen Emma's terror whenever she had come too close. The woman, however, didn't speak and after a few more seconds of silence Regina sat on the bed, the dipping mattress eliciting a small tremble from Emma as she blinked, staring at Regina through glazed pupils.

Regina wasn't sure how further she would be able to push, or if she was already pushing things too far, breaking rules they had never really created but which they had been playing with for far too long. However, the superimposed image of the Emma that was now looking at with the glimpse of the woman that had stood in front of Hook while saying she couldn't keep going kept trembling on her mind's eye and for that she pointed at the bed's headboard as she snatched the spare sheet from Emma's hands, placing it on her knees as she did so.

"There, move."

Emma complied, moving towards the headboard, a glint of humor touching her lips as she spoke again. "And you?"

"If you feel so inclined I will put a pillow wall between us, miss Swan." Regina deadpanned, feeling, more than seeing, the sudden stiffness on Emma's pose around her like an aura.

"Don't…"

"Call you that, I know, I know."

Regina waited until the blonde was comfortably propped up against the headboard, the t-shirt she had changed with in a flair of magic after the wedding had been called off rumpled on her lap as well as the jeans she wore, a version less fitted to her legs that the ones Regina could still remember. The image kept flickering inside of the former Queen and Regina swallowed before she placed the sheet at the bed's feet, moving to the other side of the bed in where she sat again, easing her feet off the high heels she wore but not really moving closer to Emma who was now looking at her through her long eyelashes. Turning towards her and still hesitant Regina found herself at a loss of words, her mind going back to the moment in where Emma had turned to her and Henry -both of them within an arm reach but still too stunned to move- before collapsing while sobs broke free from her- until now- tightly pressed lips.

Henry had rushed to Emma's side. Regina, however, had been stopped by Charming's hand on her shoulder, a quick, silent plea on his eyes as Regina had turned to him, scathing words dying on her. It had been him and Snow the ones that at the end had hugged Emma, Archie and the Dwarfs asking the guests to leave the place as Regina stood in the middle of what had been the front row with white knuckles and words flying on her head in a flurry of activity so strong he had felt lightheaded.

She felt like that again now, as if submerged, surrounded by the hundreds of words she would have loved to say but felt herself unable to. Licking her bottom lip, Regina tucked one leg beneath her, turning fully towards Emma, the blonde's fingers circling again and again the place where a ring had been until a few hours before.

"You did the right thing." Regina finally said, breaking the silence while smiling softly at Emma when the woman shuddered, a "no" already starting to form on her expression. "You did."

"I let everyone down." Came the reply, succinct, cold, and Regina could see how Emma was already starting to tuck herself inside the cocoon of self-hate she had seen on her so many times recently. "They were expecting…"

"There were no expectations Emma." Regina replied and for a moment she wondered why, why she had insisted on Emma sleeping with her instead with the Charming's when Emma had muttered how she couldn't go back to the house, the house that was going to be for Killian and her. Of course, Regina thought grimly as she kept looking at Emma while the blonde let out a shuddering sob, she knew why just as David had known, just as Snow had told her as much when she had eyed her from Emma's shoulder before nodding once. "There weren't."

"Hook…"

"Will know what means to have been the Evil Queen if he dares to speak to you again after today." Regina promised and smiled when Emma chuckled softly, looking less guarded, less tightly closed than before. Humming to herself the blonde let her head rest on the headboard, a soft thud preceding a wince that made them both share a quiet chuckle as the silence stretched.

"I don't know how I will look at my parents after this." Emma finally said. Expression turning sad as she kept talking. "Or Henry."

"Hopefully, the same as always." Regina replied and when Emma eyed her wearily she arched a brow in mock anger that made Emma stifle another smile, one that felt more genuine than the first and for what Regina felt thankful for. "Will you be fine on your own?" She proceeded to ask, gentle as ever and not really knowing what to do with her fingers that suddenly burned and ached as Emma hugged her legs close to her chest, looking younger than her years and also a reminiscent of another woman, one perhaps Regina had seen but for the briefest amount of time.

When Emma didn't answer, Regina sighed and opened her mouth, her voice falling flat against her tongue as Emma shook her head, crumbling pieces of her seeming to come apart in front of Regina's eyes, as drying sand. Acting out of instinct, Regina moved until she too had her back against the headboard, right hand reaching out for Emma's. Hands that tightened their grip against the younger woman's knees for a second before turning lax under Regina's, letting the brunette woman detangle the hands from the legs until Emma found herself looking at her with nothing between them to shield herself with.

Regina didn't know what she was doing or if she had already done something irreparable but she kept staring, caressing Emma's left hand with her thumb, waiting for the blonde whose eyes fell to their interlaced fingers before staring back at Regina's face, tongue peeking between slightly parted lips, close, too close and with irises glowing with magic Regina felt grazing her own. Neither of them spoke for a long time, so long Regina started to feel self-conscious until Emma tilted her head towards Regina's dress.

"I'm glad my mother didn't convince you to wear the pink dresses she wanted to use for the bridesmaids."

Smiling crookedly the brunette shrugged. "I think I told her that pink would be something that only her could have used for her wedding."

"I think you were right." Emma replied and she closed her eyes, a wave of magic reaching out to Regina and quickly changing the brunette into more comfortable clothes as Emma opened her eyes again, blush quickly raising to her cheeks as she took on the hoodie and pants she had dressed Regina with. "I'm… I thought that you were probably…"

"I think we will need to start with our magic lessons some time in the future." Regina replied, glancing at her lap for a moment, recomposing herself and her magic that threatened to break free from her tight grip as the last sparks of Emma's danced on her skin. "But not bad Emma, not bad."

That alone made the blonde smile slightly before closing her eyes again, the room falling into silence once again. It was late, Regina could feel it, and Henry was probably already feigning to be asleep while looking at his quill and probably wondering just the same Regina did. "What to do now?" She could feel the burning on her fingers only growing as the minutes with her hand on Emma's only lengthened and so she extricated it from there, raising it to the blonde's forehead when she saw the woman's green eyes opening again, a call on them that was hidden by the sheriff too slow this time for her not to see it clearly, far too obvious. Far too real.

"Sleep." She found herself whispering in the lighted room, her magic closing the door as she flicked her left hand, the light dimming slightly until only the barest lights created shadows in the room's corners. It felt intimate and for that Regina felt powerless and raw, afraid but she didn't move and so Emma's didn't as she scooted closer, her hair obscuring her face, her jaw. A small glow toughed her skin in the places Regina's hand touched it and for a moment the two of them basked into that power, not really pointing out, too tired to even do it.

And as afraid as she felt, Regina reflected as she kept caressing Emma's forehead, the blonde's breath turning from swallow to calm, she found herself reluctant to let go in the same manner she had felt herself trembling when she had looked at Emma back in Robin's apartment when everything had seemed lost and nothing had felt right and the words love and care had resounded too close, too… real. Too powerful for her to keep talking, to say Emma's own name.

Today, however, she found herself unable to think in anything else but the times she had almost spoke those words and for that she let her fingers touch the woman's hair, inching closer as Emma's strength waned and her body fell into the mattress. Soothing her fears when she started to move and squirm, the shadow of a nightmare breaking free from her throat as a cry for help escaped her lips, shuddering and trembling against Regina as the brunette kept touching, whispering tales about Henry, stories of him growing up Emma had already briefly known as one of hers and which Regina found herself wishing that they, in fact, were hers as well to share and laugh at.

She was unable to pinpoint the moment she fell asleep. She, however, was able to know when she woke up tangled in Emma's arms, the blonde's spooning her, sheets rumpled, legs intertwined and the smell of the woman's scent surrounding her. She also knew that they would deny having had such night the moment they stepped outside the room.

Sighing, the former queen turned towards Emma's chest, nuzzling closer, lying to herself as she did so but still letting her senses soak as much as possible on the feeling of the younger woman as close as she was.

"Good morning." She whispered before preparing herself for the inevitable, for the heartache that would probably follow soon enough.

In that moment, however, she let herself enjoy those seconds a little more, for a little while.


End file.
